T'is the season to be...

It's Fall in San Francisco and the new season approaches.  The season of bell ringers, pumpkins, costumes,  Santa's, year end CEO bonuses in the millions, layoffs for the middle class, new opportunity for offshore firms to take American jobs and for American corporations to use those offshore firms to speed short term profits and line their golden parachutes with more gold.  Oh, did I mention that I am getting laid off? Yup, I am,  for the first time in my life and I guess, well I kind of feel lucky - lucky cause I have had 30 + years of uninterrupted employment in the various IT cottage industries where us cube dwellers reside and gripe.

This news came to me right on the heals of finding out that our CEO is the most highly compensated CEO in the nation.  To be fair, this, of course, includes his total compensation - not just salary, you know those add-on's, stock options exercised, 401K match, call girls on gratis, and various complimentary E.D. medications to keep that little energizer bunny going and going and going, of course - I jest, but that being said 135 million is still a nice looking stocking stuffer.

I've known about this pending layoff for the last few months, but the management team, the so-called "Managed Services Partner Select Committee", constantly assured us that they were looking at all the details, risks, benefits and nothing had been signed, and that nothing may ever actually be signed - that is -  they may not move forward with this option after all, they also assured us that even though Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny may not be physically real, it wasn't completely out of the question that they could somehow, one day,  conjur themselves up from the ether and surprise us in some spiritual manifestation - really, they did - okay, I lied, no they didn't but I can hope right?

I was summoned to one of those high floors, sat down, HR representative and my manager present.  I was quickly notified by my manager of my impending dissmissal, he had a script to read, but was nervous, I felt bad for him, it was like speed laying off sessions - a mass of 80 of us going into various offices, getting a script read, or poorly memorized by managers with little emotion.  I eventually just said "Come on guys, am I staying or going?" - and was told "no, no, no we need to go through this" - really "WE" need to?  It was kind of like watching a car wreck in slow motion, where you're in the car, but outside the car watching you inside the car get wrecked, you know, that kind of thing?

When it was, finally, over and I went downstairs, but chose not to go back to my desk - didn't want to have everyone asking me "so what happened, you staying or going, huh..tell us, tell us?".  See I was the first one notified... so I, instead, went outside to walk around the area where the bike messengers hang out and smoke pot and have a generally good time. For some reason this always raises my spirits - people kind of living off the grid, smoking pot, riding their bikes, whistling at girls, girls whistling at boys and all other possible combinations.  Seems like freedom to me, hold on..let me take note of that "Possible career change, bike messenger..." kay, got it.

So I recharged, walked back into my building, ready to face all the questions when I caught my CIO walking out with one of the leaders of our largest service provider firm - they were headed, at 4pm, across the street to the bar.  I just got laid off and my CIO is celebrating with a vendor over a few cocktails and a cigar or two I imagine.  So I made a quick u-turn, sat down next the the bike messengers, whistled at the best looking people that passed by, and inhaled deeply, and soon, it suddenly seemed all okay.